I don’t have to say it but I will. This year has been hard and all around unpredictable. But in this time of struggle and uncertainty, there has been one steady beacon, one thing we can all count on: terrible Christmas movies. They are painfully consistent in their predictable plots and recycled characters and are just about the only thing that has gotten me through these weeks of online learning. I have compiled my top three bad Christmas movies for your reading pleasure, so grab your hot chocolate and settle in for a truly awful ride.

3) The Christmas Wedding Planner

With a whopping 10% on Rotten Tomatoes, we have The Christmas Wedding Planner. Oh boy. For starters, this movie took me three weeks to finish because I just couldn’t stomach it. The plot follows an up-and-coming wedding planner as she plans her cousin’s Christmas themed wedding. Things go awry when a dashing private investigator shows up to investigate the groom and the wedding planner is pulled away from her busy job to help him out. After a few days of investigating and general holiday shenanigans, the wedding planner and PI get married. Nothing says true love like having your second kiss at the altar! Additionally, this movie is partially narrated through text messages from the main character to her dead mother, which puts a bit of a damper on the Christmas spirit. All in all, this movie is pretty bad but still laughable at times.

2) Pride, Prejudice and Mistletoe

This movie (which was generously awarded 22% on Rotten Tomatoes) follows Darcy, a businesswoman back in her hometown who has to plan a party with Luke (her old debate team rival and the party caterer) to donate money to the local orphanage. You know, just like in Jane Austen’s timeless classic. I want to say they tried. I really do. But besides a few of the names, this movie has nothing to do with Pride and Prejudice. Along with the convoluted plot, there is not an ounce of chemistry between any of the characters and a weird amount of information about investing. Friends, this was really bad.

Christmas Icetastrophe

This is one of the greatest films I’ve ever seen. It’s like watching a train wreck catch fire in a hurricane. It is indescribably alluring. This Syfy original ( awarded 20% on Rotten Tomatoes) follows a priest and an astrophysics grad student as they try to save their town from freezing over after a meteorite falls in the centre of town. It starts off like any regular Christmas film with a small town’s holiday festival when BAM, not even 15 minutes in, a man dressed as Santa is shattered into pieces of frozen meat by the meteor. It is breathtaking. Other highlights include someone untying a knot by shooting it with a shotgun, a massive helicopter explosion, and the stupidest scientific explanation I have ever seen in a movie. If you, like me, enjoy films like Avalanche Sharks or just about anything else Syfy has made, this is the film for you.

Of course, this is all meant in good fun and not to offend anyone’s movie preferences. I hope you all have a good time watching these films over the winter break. Stay safe, and happy holidays!