Top 6 Best Worst Horror Films
Horror has always been one of the most iconic genres of film, with renowned classics such as Psycho, Scream, and The Shining, to creatively chilling modern takes like Hereditary and Get Out. Overall, the horror genre has had some amazing things come from it but, if I were to ramble on about good horror movies, that would hardly make an entertaining article. As much I would like this piece to be about the good, bad and dirty of the cult classic genre, it’s more just the bad and dirty but sometimes, the bad and dirty are the best. After years of watching horror movies, I compiled a list of bad ones, some so bad they’re laughable (like Netflix categorizes it as a comedy bad) and some that I just generally dislike. So if you’re looking to laugh, nap or take a quick break from horror movies this October, these are for you.
The Purge, The First Purge
Warning: Gore, disturbing imagery
This one is controversial for two reasons. The first being the fame of the film; how can such a popular franchise be considered so bad? The second reason is that I haven’t actually seen the entirety of either of these movies because after beginning each film, I was asleep within half an hour. At one point, I played The Purge so that I would fall asleep, knowing that it would do the trick. Truly, my problem with these movies is the stories. The acting isn’t half bad and the film quality is obviously up to par however, such a seemingly interesting concept is slaughtered with a boring and predictable story. Not necessarily one to laugh at, The Purge movies are perfect to watch before an afternoon nap.
Deadly Detention
Warning: Some gore, sexual content, mentions of abuse, mentions of suicide/self harm
The title basically tells it all for this high school horror. It tells the story of a Breakfast Club-esque group of students doing time in detention that is, for some reason, held in an abandoned jail. After their uptight, hated principal is attacked by a serial killer, they’re forced to embark on a journey through the prison in an attempt to escape. A few predictable deaths and one obvious romance later and the final girl is confronted with the even more predictable killer. A scene that reads like bad fan fiction then ensues before a knockout we all saw coming and a terribly disappointing ending.
Seven in Heaven
Warning: Sexaul content, gore, disturbing imagery
This incorrectly titled movie follows the story of two teens, Jude and June, subjected to seven minutes in a small empty closet that takes them into an alternate reality from which they must escape. Finding their way home proves to be a specific and difficult task which therefore only made the movie more complex and repulsive. Most of this watch I spent yelling at my TV in frustration about the idiotic plans, awkward acting, and an overall just confusing storyline. I suggest watching this one with a friend.
The Recall
Warning: Some disturbing imagery, nudity, Wesley Snipes
Fans of alien movies, this one’s for you. The Recall depicts the simple plot of two acquaintances teaming up with a mysterious mountain man after their friends are abducted by aliens. The aggravatingly convoluted plot left me both yelling angrily and laughing hysterically at my television once again. It’s chock full of confusing alien culture, seemingly random deaths and resurrections, and a weird amount of partial nudity. The acting is unconvincing at best and easy enough to mock. Really, the highlight of this film was the cinematography (which wasn’t that good either.)
Holidays
Warning: Graphic sexual content, nudity, some gore, a weird amount of snakes
Since I first watched this film (most likely far too young to have watched it), in the weirdest way possible, I’ve grown to like it. The movie consists of short indie horror films for holidays such as Valentine’s Day, Halloween, Christmas etc. and yes, is just as strange as it sounds. When it comes to good, bad and dirty, this movie is the dirty. In terms of the quality-- film, audio, acting-- it’s actually quite well made which almost makes it more disturbing. Each plot, while drastically different stories, manages to create an ominous and upsetting atmosphere all while being incredibly confusing. After watching it, I was hardly paranoid as much as disgusted and perplexed. I’m slightly ashamed to claim that I, in the most outlandish way possible, really do enjoy this movie. If you’re a fan of wacky, bizarre and bewildering movies, this one’s for you.
Birdemic: Shock and Terror
Warning: Sexual content, terrible CGI
My favourite part of this film is that it’s considered to be a horror movie. Hardly a thriller, in this incredibly low budget film, new couple Nathalie and Rod are out of town when birds attack. On top of horrendous audio mixing and below iPhone quality filming, the acting is some of the worst I’ve ever seen (which is really saying something.) The true cherry on top, however, is an incredibly convoluted moral about the dangers of climate change. This one is less of a movie and more of a religious experience, and it’s honestly hard to believe that it isn't a parody.
Whether you prefer classic thrills or modern chills, all of these terrifyingly bad movies will keep you entertained this spooky season. Happy Halloween!
